Something funny happened at the Athletics Center the other day...
(Warning: some crude humor involved)
Three friends and I were playing foursquare in a squash court. This in and of itself had presented some problems. We tried playing squash at first, but there were four of us and it was a small, indoor court. Someone's head was going to come off if we kept batting little rubber balls around. So we got a bigger ball and decided to play foursquare instead.
For some reason we couldn't agree on the rankings. Normally it's something like King, Queen, Jester and Royal Toilet, but ours varied from that to Queen, Queen's B****, Prime Minister and Courtesan to Star Trek style with Gold Shirt, Blue Shirt, Red Shirt and Space Hooker to Evil Overlord, Second-In-Command, Minion and Prostitute to a few other things. For some reason the lowest rank was always some sort of prostitute. I don't know; maybe there's something wrong with us. Of course, we are writers. XD
Anyway, there's this thing in foursquare where whoever has the ball calls "Candy shop!" then says the name of a candy and passes it. Each person has to catch the ball and say a candy. The first person to blank or repeat a type of candy becomes the Royal Toilet, or in our case the Prostitute.
(In the interest of privacy, I'm referring to my friends as Friend 1, Friend 2 and Friend 3.)
Friend 1: *Catches ball* Candy shop! M&Ms! *Throws to me*
Me: Uh, Bugbars! *throws to Friend 2*
Friend 2: Twizzlers! *throws to Friend 3*
Friend 3: Skittles! *throws to Friend 1*
Friend 1: Butterfingers! *throws to me*
Me: ...What the f*** are Bugbars?
Needless to say, I lost. But I was already the Prostitute at that point, so it's not like it mattered...
The point is that there will never be a time when the word "Bugbars" is not funny to me. It's like something out of the Monty Python "Crunchy Frog" skit. I don't even know where it came from. I think I modified the word "bugbear" for some reason and it just popped out...it doesn't even make sense!
UPDATE:
The funniest thing just happened to me.
I got back to my room a few minutes before my roommate, so I was sitting on my bed rereading one of the books I brought from home (This One Summer by Jillian and Mariko Tamaki, if anyone's wondering) when she walked in.
Roommate: Oh, hey, look, there's a person in my room.
Me: Haha, yeah, don't worry. It's just your roommate.
Roommate: Oh, darn. I was hoping there was an attractive person in my room.
Me: *about to call her on it*
Roommate: Oh my God, no! That's NOT what I meant!
Me: *laughing*
Roommate: I was going to say 'an attractive MAN' but then I decided not to at the last moment! You're definitely attractive! That came out SO wrong!!!
Me: *still laughing my ass off*
Roommate: Let's just say I was hoping the Doctor would be in my room and leave it there.
Me: *still laughing, because come on, that was HILARIOUS!*
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tales from the Writer's Camp
We've been having a bit of a cafeteria battle with the swimmers.
See, Kenyon was hosting some kind of swim camp at the same time as the Young Writers' Workshop. So all week, we've had to try and beat the swimmers to the dining hall (which, by the way, looks like Hogwarts without the magic ceiling. It's awesome). Or we just wait for it to clear up a bit.
The swimmers were really aggressive about their tablespace, too. They had the tables at the back of the hall reserved and they'd look at us like "DON'T COME NEAR US, YOU WEIRDOS." Or maybe that was just me. But if anyone who wasn't a swimmer tried sitting down at those tables, they got kicked off.
Which is why I felt justified in being a bit passive-aggressive towards the two swimmers sitting at the end of the table at lunch. The table that was clearly labeled "Reserved For The Kenyon Young Writers' Workshop." I didn't do anything too bad, but I did keep nudging the sign towards them until they left.
I don't think they left because of the sign, though. I think they left because there were a lot of young writers at the table and said young writers got into a loud and interesting discussion about the sex lives of condiments.
(Warning: some dirty jokes ahead.)
So on one end of the table there was a lonely pepper shaker, and on the other were two salt shakers. Obviously, my friends agreed, the salt shakers were a gay couple. The pepper was the arse of a significant other whom one of the saltshakers had left for the other saltshaker. I drew a little doodle of two of the alchemical symbol for salt hooked together.
Then we got into the ketchup and mustard. They were a couple, but the mustard was cheating with the relish. *Shocked gasp*
Which led to the catcall from the mustard to the ketchup: "You look pretty good from beheinz."
The barbecue sauce was all on its lonesome, with a fetish for other types of foods like meat and ribs.
The salt (different salt) had an abusive relationship with soy sauce, since the soy sauce just dissolves it.
This led to pickup lines such as: "Hey, baby. Wanna supersaturate my solution?" and, if the pepper was trying to flirt with the salt, "Hey, baby. Wanna grind my peppercorns?" (I told you there were dirty jokes.)
Then someone suggested the slogan: "Practice Safe Snacks. Use A Condiment."
Oh my God, the looks we were getting from the other tables. They thought we were freaking INSANE. Which, being writers, we are.
Anyway, the good news is that today was the swimmers' last day. Now they can go home and avoid us crazy writers for the rest of their lives!
See, Kenyon was hosting some kind of swim camp at the same time as the Young Writers' Workshop. So all week, we've had to try and beat the swimmers to the dining hall (which, by the way, looks like Hogwarts without the magic ceiling. It's awesome). Or we just wait for it to clear up a bit.
The swimmers were really aggressive about their tablespace, too. They had the tables at the back of the hall reserved and they'd look at us like "DON'T COME NEAR US, YOU WEIRDOS." Or maybe that was just me. But if anyone who wasn't a swimmer tried sitting down at those tables, they got kicked off.
Which is why I felt justified in being a bit passive-aggressive towards the two swimmers sitting at the end of the table at lunch. The table that was clearly labeled "Reserved For The Kenyon Young Writers' Workshop." I didn't do anything too bad, but I did keep nudging the sign towards them until they left.
I don't think they left because of the sign, though. I think they left because there were a lot of young writers at the table and said young writers got into a loud and interesting discussion about the sex lives of condiments.
(Warning: some dirty jokes ahead.)
So on one end of the table there was a lonely pepper shaker, and on the other were two salt shakers. Obviously, my friends agreed, the salt shakers were a gay couple. The pepper was the arse of a significant other whom one of the saltshakers had left for the other saltshaker. I drew a little doodle of two of the alchemical symbol for salt hooked together.
Then we got into the ketchup and mustard. They were a couple, but the mustard was cheating with the relish. *Shocked gasp*
Which led to the catcall from the mustard to the ketchup: "You look pretty good from beheinz."
The barbecue sauce was all on its lonesome, with a fetish for other types of foods like meat and ribs.
The salt (different salt) had an abusive relationship with soy sauce, since the soy sauce just dissolves it.
This led to pickup lines such as: "Hey, baby. Wanna supersaturate my solution?" and, if the pepper was trying to flirt with the salt, "Hey, baby. Wanna grind my peppercorns?" (I told you there were dirty jokes.)
Then someone suggested the slogan: "Practice Safe Snacks. Use A Condiment."
Oh my God, the looks we were getting from the other tables. They thought we were freaking INSANE. Which, being writers, we are.
Anyway, the good news is that today was the swimmers' last day. Now they can go home and avoid us crazy writers for the rest of their lives!
Monday, June 23, 2014
Guess Where I Am Right Now
I'm sitting in a loud lounge on a red bouncy couch. I'm kind of slipping behind the cushion into the back of the couch. Someone just banged a ping-pong paddle against the ping-pong table really loudly. The FIFA World Cup is on TV.
Outside it's sunny, green and yellow and glowing and glistening. The air is warm and wet and clean from the rain that soaked my hair and shirt earlier before departing as suddenly as it came.
Nope, I am not in California any more.
I'm in Ohio! At Kenyon College!! For the Kenyon Young Writers' Workshop!!! And having trouble typing because I got so used to handwriting earlier today.
The kids playing ping-pong are two Asian girls on one side with long flowing black hair and a skinny blond guy with dark eyebrows and glasses on the other side. He's wearing a Yosemite T-shirt, the girls are shorts and flipflops. One has a pink and white tank top that shows cleavage, the other a midriff-baring blue and pink thing.
Oh, and my computer thinks its 1:59 because I haven't hooked it up to the internet yet. It's really 4:59, which really is 1:59 California time. I've been feeling a bit off today, which I think is just my body adjusting to the three-hour time difference and eating at weird times (for California. I had to get up at 7, and that's like 4 west-coast time).
Yesterday was a travel day. Four hours on a plane, then an hour's ride to Kenyon. I got there late, along with three other California people, so we actually missed dinner. We caught the tail end of an ice-breaking exercise, then went to another thing where they introduced all the teachers and RAs. By the end of that, we were starving, but we still had to go to our respective RA floor meetings. Then, after several frantic minutes of searching during which I delved into my left-over trail mix, we finally got the pizza we'd been promised. Yay pizza!
My dorm room is okay and my roommate is awesome. We're both big Neil Gaiman fans and we like a lot of the same stuff so I think we'll get along pretty well.
I don't know if it was the time difference or what, but I just could not sleep last night. I just lay there staring at the wall for like an hour before finally pulling out my flashlight and finishing the 500+ page book I'd started on the plane (Now I'll Tell You Everything by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor). Then I stared at the wall more before finally dropping off, only to wake up an hour before I had to.
The dining hall at Kenyon looks like the dining hall at Hogwarts minus the magic ceiling and the house colors. It is awesome.
The workshops so far have been pretty great. Lots of free writing and reflection. I feel like today was sort of a nonfiction day and I kind of hope we get more into fiction and stuff later. I might post some of my writing here.
Oh, and this will be posted a few hours after I write it because I haven't gotten the internet working and I'm writing on a digital sticky note.
*A few hours later*
Feeling really hyper again and it's late. Had a pretty good evening. Played BS with a group of kids including a guy who cannot lie to save his life. It was fun!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Disneyland Reflections and Awesome Texts (Two Blog Posts in One)
So...the Disneyland post may or may not happen. I haven't put the pictures on my computer yet, but...oh, what the heck, I'll just tell you about it now.
I went to Disneyland with my school's music conservatory. I'm not actually part of the music conservatory, but I play they cello and they had a couple of extra spaces, so I was in.
We headed off to Disneyland in the early morning, riding in two vans. Then when we got there we had about four hours before we actually had to play, so we split into groups and wandered the park for a while. We were going on a Saturday, the day after the 24-hour opening, so it was pretty crowded. A little more crowded than I like it, really, but whatever.
My group and I went to Autopia first. I'd never ridden it before and it was AWESOME. Although I have to say, it didn't inspire much confidence in my driving skills...and I'm going to learn this summer, so...that should be fun...
(although my friend G told me that actually driving is easier than driving the Autopia cars, so maybe it'll be okay.)
Fantasyland, where we resolved to ride the rides that scared us! That meant Snow White for G, Peter Pan for K (don't ask), Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for me, and the Spinning Teacups for N.
First off, Snow White. It was TERRIFYING. I can't remember ever having ridden it before, and I don't really plan on doing it again. Basically, you go through a couple scenes of happy domestic bliss in the dwarves' house, and then the rest of the ride consists of jerking through a pitch-black forest with things jumping out at you.
There's this one particularly terrifying moment when you go past the evil queen and then she spins around and turns into the ugly witch. I was sitting next to G, and she screamed in my ear and punched me in the arm. Hard. So that was fun.
Peter Pan was awesome, though. I'd forgotten how much fun that ride is, especially the parts where you're flying over London, through the stars, and then over Neverland. (K hadn't been on it before and was nervous about the "drop," which turned out to be an almost nonexistent, very gentle incline.)
Next up was me and Mr. Toad. I actually have a story behind this one. Once upon a time, when I was a young, impressionable child, my mother took me on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Being the shorter person, I was on the inside of the car--the side with the steering wheel. Mom, all in good fun, said something like, "Oh, you should steer the car!"
Which meant, in my tiny, seven-year-old brain, that I had to steer the car. If we crashed, it was my fault.
And Mr. Toad has an awfully crashy ride. There's even a part where you get hit by a train. And then sent to a courtroom. And from there you go to Hell.
My friends thought I was kidding about that last part, but I wasn't. Just imagine seven-year-old me sitting there, in that car, going straight into Hell with demons and flames and pitchforks, totally convinced that her horrible driving skills had brought her there. It was traumatizing.
So that's why we went on it this year. And honestly, it wasn't that bad. (Except for the train part.) But seriously, I was laughing maniacally when we got off. I kept saying, "I TOLD you the ride went to Hell! I TOLD you! But did you believe me? Noooo, but I was RIGHT, wasn't I!" until my friends told me to shut up.
The Spinning Teacups stopped working while we were in line, so we wound up skipping that. We had lunch and then headed over to Toon Town to rendezvous with the group.
We were led backstage by a woman named Kate (I think. I might be misremembering). Backstage Disneyland is sort of cool, but a lot more functional than normal Disneyland. You know those fake green mountains that hover over Toon Town? Well, they don't even touch the ground. They just stop about fifteen feet above the ground, just low enough that you can't tell from inside the park. It was sort of depressing, really. That's probably why they had a strict no-pictures-backstage rule.
We changed in this big changing room, then got our instruments off the vans and followed Kate to the stage where we were playing. I think it was in Frontierland? It was somewhere close to Frontierland, anyway. On the way we kept seeing Disney characters going on and off their shifts, but in addition to the no pictures rule, there's also a don't-bother-the-characters rule. Kate said that she'd once seen the White Rabbit totally swarmed by a group of eight-year-old girls.
The performance went pretty well. It was fun, and the audience was really supportive. I was proud.
There were two marching bands practicing outside when we got back to the dressing rooms. Two. Marching. Bands. It was AWESOME. They had baton twirlers and big fuzzy hats and TUBAS! I love tubas! If I was in a marching band, I would totally play the tuba. (Actually, I'd probably play the trumpet since that's what I learned for band in 5th grade, but a girl can dream.)
I love marching bands, in case you hadn't worked that out. So that was fun.
We went back into the park, which by the way was extremely crowded. I dragged my friends on the Mark Twain riverboat. There was something up with the audio on our ride--it kept pointing out the landmarks five minutes after we'd passed them already. XD
After the riverboat ride my friends were pretty tired, so we just sat down for a while. I snuck into one of the Frontierland restaurants and people-watched for a bit and finished my ill-gotten frozen lemonade.
Oh, did I not mention that? Here's something funny: Over the course of the day, I managed to consume an obscene amount of sugar without paying for any of it. First K bought cotton candy and decided she didn't want to finish it. So I took it and managed to make it last a good six hours, eating a little at a time. Then N didn't want the remainder of her strawberry frozen lemonade thing, so I finished that in the Frontierland restaurant. Then at dinner, which the whole group had at a chowder place in Frontierland, someone brought back an extra, unwanted beignet. It was delicious.
After dinner, I wound up going on Indiana Jones with a couple of other girls from the group. One of them had gotten an extra Fastpass earlier, so I managed to hitch a ride. It's amazing what you can get by being in the right place at the right time. :) The Fastpasses were actually for 11:00-11:30, but we were leaving at 10:00. So we just got in line, prepared our sob stories, and handed the guard our passes really fast. Turns out we didn't need the sob stories--he didn't even check.
Anyway, after going on Indiana Jones (which was super fun and I love it!) I got really hyperactive. I blame this at least partially on the inordinate amount of sugar I'd consumed, and partially on the slightly claustrophobic exit tunnel for the Indiana Jones ride, but I just needed to run around for a while. So after we made our way over to Tomorrowland, the other two girls got caught up by this rock concert. It was a little loud for me, so I ditched them and went back over to Frontierland to watch the fireworks show. I actually got a pretty good spot in the crowd--right at the back, but I could still see.
The water show was okay. I found the whole thing a bit silly. Certain parts of it--mostly the Fantasia parts--seemed a little trippy. The best part was definitely the Peter Pan ship coming past. That was awesome! On that note...is it kind of bad that I was rooting for Captain Hook to win? I don't think it's bad...I mean, I read the book and Peter Pan is an evil little devil. I actually sympathize much more with Hook than I do with Pan. The character of Peter Pan scares me. He's a remorseless murderer! Seriously, he kills like twelve pirates and then doesn't even remember their names later on, which is just plain disrespectful.
Anyway, tangent aside, I came away from the light show thinking two things:
1. Fireworks are awesome, and
2. Disney needs better values.
I know, I know. This gets said a lot. But the one moment in the show that really struck me (besides the pirate ship sailing past) was this one point where Mickey's fighting one of the villains, maybe the dragon, and he says something like "Beauty and love will always triumph over evil!"
Love, I get. Love is fine. But beauty? Really? It couldn't be "honor and love" or "courage and love" or "intelligence and love" or something?
I dunno, it just kind of irritated me.
Anyway, it was about 9:30 and I was on my way to the park entrance when I got trapped in the crowd watching the other fireworks show. (You know, the one where Tinkerbell flies over the park.) So I wound up seeing that one, too. And it was SPECTACULAR. I LOVE fireworks. :)
After that I headed down the main boulevard, out the park entrance, and back to the group. I ran a couple of laps around the courtyard just to burn off excess energy while we waited for everyone to arrive. Then when everyone was there we went back to the parking structure, got into the vans, and came home.
The next day I woke up with a patch of skin having been rubbed off the top of my foot by my shoes and a seriously sore throat. I'd started developing the sore throat at Disneyland, but I'd put it down to all the sugar I was eating. Turns out it wasn't the sugar (although the sugar probably didn't help). It was the beginnings of a really, horribly nasty cold that knocked me out of school for two days. It would have been three days if we hadn't had Monday off. So yeah, I missed two days of review for finals and the announcement of my own appointment as senior editor of the yearbook. Yay.
Oh, and kudos if you're still reading this. I'm impressed. Here's one last funny thing, which shall probably become a blog post all on its own in a little while, but it deserves some attention now.
My friend Sally and I were texting after my second day of missed school. Here's a transcript:
Me: Hi.
Sally: Hey, how ya feeling?
Me: Still sick :( did I miss anything?
Sally: Well, the yearbook looks absolutely fantastic. (She'd gotten it that day.)
Me: Good to know all of our hard work, tears, and ritual sacrifices paid off.
Sally: ................
Me: Kidding. We never cried over it.
Sally: Oh well then, that's okay. Nothing else about that sentence was concerning even in the slightest.
Me: Actually there might have been some tears from Ms. S (the yearbook/Creative Writing teacher)...some people just couldn't get things in on time. (Coughseniorscough)
Sally: So were the animal sacrifices to make Ms. S happy or to make the seniors surrender their free will and finish their pages?
Me: Who said anything about animals?
Sally: ..................... *runs away screaming
Me: What, you never noticed the decline in numbers of the freshmen? Dang, we must be better at this secrecy business than we thought.
Sally: hello, this is sally's answering machine. She is still runni--I mean not available. Leave a message after the tone.
Me: Hello. The spirits of the Great Divide have confiscated the mortal scum's phone in punishment for her lack of secrecy. We are coming to get you now.
Me: You can run but you cannot hide. We do not rest. We will catch up. You can only get so far.
Sally: Dear god, please let that mean that they're taking my phone.
Me: You can pray all you like but the Spirits will not be vanquished...
Sally: I'm guessing that's a no then. *Nervous laughter
Me: Your evasure shall be amusing, O Puny Mortal.
Sally: Just take ur time torturing the puny mortal u already have. Im in no hurry.
Me: We are remarkably good multi-tasters.
Me: *mukti-taskers
Me: **multi-taskers. Stupid mortal communication device.
Sally: ...right. Blame the mortal's device.
Me: Didst thou not know that the gateway to Hell is carpeted with mortal devices that have been damned there by their owners? (I read that on the internet somewhere)
Sally: Odd. I seem to remember a certain mortal friend who said that to me once. Hmmmmm, are u sure u are who u say u are.
Me: We find your lack of faith disturbing.
Sally: You're a "spirit from the great beyond" aren't u supposed to like disturbing things?
Me: Puny mortal, we have tolerated your distractions long enough! Soon we shall find you and you shall face our wrath!
Sally: *Gulp. i'll start running now, but be warned, i'm armed with a 50 pound math book
Me: ...you have discovered our weakness!
Me: Damn. Did we just send that as a text?
Sally: I'll be waiting.
Why yes, I have been listening to Welcome to Night Vale lately. However did you guess?
I went to Disneyland with my school's music conservatory. I'm not actually part of the music conservatory, but I play they cello and they had a couple of extra spaces, so I was in.
We headed off to Disneyland in the early morning, riding in two vans. Then when we got there we had about four hours before we actually had to play, so we split into groups and wandered the park for a while. We were going on a Saturday, the day after the 24-hour opening, so it was pretty crowded. A little more crowded than I like it, really, but whatever.
My group and I went to Autopia first. I'd never ridden it before and it was AWESOME. Although I have to say, it didn't inspire much confidence in my driving skills...and I'm going to learn this summer, so...that should be fun...
(although my friend G told me that actually driving is easier than driving the Autopia cars, so maybe it'll be okay.)
Fantasyland, where we resolved to ride the rides that scared us! That meant Snow White for G, Peter Pan for K (don't ask), Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for me, and the Spinning Teacups for N.
First off, Snow White. It was TERRIFYING. I can't remember ever having ridden it before, and I don't really plan on doing it again. Basically, you go through a couple scenes of happy domestic bliss in the dwarves' house, and then the rest of the ride consists of jerking through a pitch-black forest with things jumping out at you.
There's this one particularly terrifying moment when you go past the evil queen and then she spins around and turns into the ugly witch. I was sitting next to G, and she screamed in my ear and punched me in the arm. Hard. So that was fun.
Peter Pan was awesome, though. I'd forgotten how much fun that ride is, especially the parts where you're flying over London, through the stars, and then over Neverland. (K hadn't been on it before and was nervous about the "drop," which turned out to be an almost nonexistent, very gentle incline.)
Next up was me and Mr. Toad. I actually have a story behind this one. Once upon a time, when I was a young, impressionable child, my mother took me on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Being the shorter person, I was on the inside of the car--the side with the steering wheel. Mom, all in good fun, said something like, "Oh, you should steer the car!"
Which meant, in my tiny, seven-year-old brain, that I had to steer the car. If we crashed, it was my fault.
And Mr. Toad has an awfully crashy ride. There's even a part where you get hit by a train. And then sent to a courtroom. And from there you go to Hell.
My friends thought I was kidding about that last part, but I wasn't. Just imagine seven-year-old me sitting there, in that car, going straight into Hell with demons and flames and pitchforks, totally convinced that her horrible driving skills had brought her there. It was traumatizing.
So that's why we went on it this year. And honestly, it wasn't that bad. (Except for the train part.) But seriously, I was laughing maniacally when we got off. I kept saying, "I TOLD you the ride went to Hell! I TOLD you! But did you believe me? Noooo, but I was RIGHT, wasn't I!" until my friends told me to shut up.
The Spinning Teacups stopped working while we were in line, so we wound up skipping that. We had lunch and then headed over to Toon Town to rendezvous with the group.
We were led backstage by a woman named Kate (I think. I might be misremembering). Backstage Disneyland is sort of cool, but a lot more functional than normal Disneyland. You know those fake green mountains that hover over Toon Town? Well, they don't even touch the ground. They just stop about fifteen feet above the ground, just low enough that you can't tell from inside the park. It was sort of depressing, really. That's probably why they had a strict no-pictures-backstage rule.
We changed in this big changing room, then got our instruments off the vans and followed Kate to the stage where we were playing. I think it was in Frontierland? It was somewhere close to Frontierland, anyway. On the way we kept seeing Disney characters going on and off their shifts, but in addition to the no pictures rule, there's also a don't-bother-the-characters rule. Kate said that she'd once seen the White Rabbit totally swarmed by a group of eight-year-old girls.
The performance went pretty well. It was fun, and the audience was really supportive. I was proud.
There were two marching bands practicing outside when we got back to the dressing rooms. Two. Marching. Bands. It was AWESOME. They had baton twirlers and big fuzzy hats and TUBAS! I love tubas! If I was in a marching band, I would totally play the tuba. (Actually, I'd probably play the trumpet since that's what I learned for band in 5th grade, but a girl can dream.)
I love marching bands, in case you hadn't worked that out. So that was fun.
We went back into the park, which by the way was extremely crowded. I dragged my friends on the Mark Twain riverboat. There was something up with the audio on our ride--it kept pointing out the landmarks five minutes after we'd passed them already. XD
After the riverboat ride my friends were pretty tired, so we just sat down for a while. I snuck into one of the Frontierland restaurants and people-watched for a bit and finished my ill-gotten frozen lemonade.
Oh, did I not mention that? Here's something funny: Over the course of the day, I managed to consume an obscene amount of sugar without paying for any of it. First K bought cotton candy and decided she didn't want to finish it. So I took it and managed to make it last a good six hours, eating a little at a time. Then N didn't want the remainder of her strawberry frozen lemonade thing, so I finished that in the Frontierland restaurant. Then at dinner, which the whole group had at a chowder place in Frontierland, someone brought back an extra, unwanted beignet. It was delicious.
After dinner, I wound up going on Indiana Jones with a couple of other girls from the group. One of them had gotten an extra Fastpass earlier, so I managed to hitch a ride. It's amazing what you can get by being in the right place at the right time. :) The Fastpasses were actually for 11:00-11:30, but we were leaving at 10:00. So we just got in line, prepared our sob stories, and handed the guard our passes really fast. Turns out we didn't need the sob stories--he didn't even check.
Anyway, after going on Indiana Jones (which was super fun and I love it!) I got really hyperactive. I blame this at least partially on the inordinate amount of sugar I'd consumed, and partially on the slightly claustrophobic exit tunnel for the Indiana Jones ride, but I just needed to run around for a while. So after we made our way over to Tomorrowland, the other two girls got caught up by this rock concert. It was a little loud for me, so I ditched them and went back over to Frontierland to watch the fireworks show. I actually got a pretty good spot in the crowd--right at the back, but I could still see.
The water show was okay. I found the whole thing a bit silly. Certain parts of it--mostly the Fantasia parts--seemed a little trippy. The best part was definitely the Peter Pan ship coming past. That was awesome! On that note...is it kind of bad that I was rooting for Captain Hook to win? I don't think it's bad...I mean, I read the book and Peter Pan is an evil little devil. I actually sympathize much more with Hook than I do with Pan. The character of Peter Pan scares me. He's a remorseless murderer! Seriously, he kills like twelve pirates and then doesn't even remember their names later on, which is just plain disrespectful.
Anyway, tangent aside, I came away from the light show thinking two things:
1. Fireworks are awesome, and
2. Disney needs better values.
I know, I know. This gets said a lot. But the one moment in the show that really struck me (besides the pirate ship sailing past) was this one point where Mickey's fighting one of the villains, maybe the dragon, and he says something like "Beauty and love will always triumph over evil!"
Love, I get. Love is fine. But beauty? Really? It couldn't be "honor and love" or "courage and love" or "intelligence and love" or something?
I dunno, it just kind of irritated me.
Anyway, it was about 9:30 and I was on my way to the park entrance when I got trapped in the crowd watching the other fireworks show. (You know, the one where Tinkerbell flies over the park.) So I wound up seeing that one, too. And it was SPECTACULAR. I LOVE fireworks. :)
After that I headed down the main boulevard, out the park entrance, and back to the group. I ran a couple of laps around the courtyard just to burn off excess energy while we waited for everyone to arrive. Then when everyone was there we went back to the parking structure, got into the vans, and came home.
The next day I woke up with a patch of skin having been rubbed off the top of my foot by my shoes and a seriously sore throat. I'd started developing the sore throat at Disneyland, but I'd put it down to all the sugar I was eating. Turns out it wasn't the sugar (although the sugar probably didn't help). It was the beginnings of a really, horribly nasty cold that knocked me out of school for two days. It would have been three days if we hadn't had Monday off. So yeah, I missed two days of review for finals and the announcement of my own appointment as senior editor of the yearbook. Yay.
o.O.o
Oh, and kudos if you're still reading this. I'm impressed. Here's one last funny thing, which shall probably become a blog post all on its own in a little while, but it deserves some attention now.
My friend Sally and I were texting after my second day of missed school. Here's a transcript:
Me: Hi.
Sally: Hey, how ya feeling?
Me: Still sick :( did I miss anything?
Sally: Well, the yearbook looks absolutely fantastic. (She'd gotten it that day.)
Me: Good to know all of our hard work, tears, and ritual sacrifices paid off.
Sally: ................
Me: Kidding. We never cried over it.
Sally: Oh well then, that's okay. Nothing else about that sentence was concerning even in the slightest.
Me: Actually there might have been some tears from Ms. S (the yearbook/Creative Writing teacher)...some people just couldn't get things in on time. (Coughseniorscough)
Sally: So were the animal sacrifices to make Ms. S happy or to make the seniors surrender their free will and finish their pages?
Me: Who said anything about animals?
Sally: ..................... *runs away screaming
Me: What, you never noticed the decline in numbers of the freshmen? Dang, we must be better at this secrecy business than we thought.
Sally: hello, this is sally's answering machine. She is still runni--I mean not available. Leave a message after the tone.
Me: Hello. The spirits of the Great Divide have confiscated the mortal scum's phone in punishment for her lack of secrecy. We are coming to get you now.
Me: You can run but you cannot hide. We do not rest. We will catch up. You can only get so far.
Sally: Dear god, please let that mean that they're taking my phone.
Me: You can pray all you like but the Spirits will not be vanquished...
Sally: I'm guessing that's a no then. *Nervous laughter
Me: Your evasure shall be amusing, O Puny Mortal.
Sally: Just take ur time torturing the puny mortal u already have. Im in no hurry.
Me: We are remarkably good multi-tasters.
Me: *mukti-taskers
Me: **multi-taskers. Stupid mortal communication device.
Sally: ...right. Blame the mortal's device.
Me: Didst thou not know that the gateway to Hell is carpeted with mortal devices that have been damned there by their owners? (I read that on the internet somewhere)
Sally: Odd. I seem to remember a certain mortal friend who said that to me once. Hmmmmm, are u sure u are who u say u are.
Me: We find your lack of faith disturbing.
Sally: You're a "spirit from the great beyond" aren't u supposed to like disturbing things?
Me: Puny mortal, we have tolerated your distractions long enough! Soon we shall find you and you shall face our wrath!
Sally: *Gulp. i'll start running now, but be warned, i'm armed with a 50 pound math book
Me: ...you have discovered our weakness!
Me: Damn. Did we just send that as a text?
Sally: I'll be waiting.
Why yes, I have been listening to Welcome to Night Vale lately. However did you guess?
Thursday, May 29, 2014
HELP O.O
After a two-day hiatus from school, I am finally back.
Basically, I went to Disneyland on Saturday. Then I came back and got really sick for the next four days. I promise to write about both of these things in my next post, as soon as I get the Disneyland photos onto my computer, but right now I am back at school and very, very stuck.
Who knew that writing a personal statement for college applications would be so HARD?
I tried to start it when I was sick, but no luck. So far I've been doing a whole lot of typing and very little actual writing.
The problem is that I'm not really sure where to start. Then I pick a random spot, type for a while, get sidetracked, and wind up going down a whole other road that I'm pretty sure colleges don't want to hear about.
See, I'm trying to write about my background and how it's influenced my life. For me, that means writing about my old Waldorf school, but that opens up a whole new can of worms, since I've still got seriously mixed feelings about the place. So I pick a direction to go, then get off on a tangent and find that I've written two hundred words that in no way contribute to my essay.
Rrrrrggggghhh. huhj
...and now my head hurts because I just banged it on the computer keyboard, hence the "huhj" above. (But not the "Rrrrrggggghhh." I typed that on purpose.
Okay, back to the pointless typing on a Word document now. Have a picture before I go.
Basically, I went to Disneyland on Saturday. Then I came back and got really sick for the next four days. I promise to write about both of these things in my next post, as soon as I get the Disneyland photos onto my computer, but right now I am back at school and very, very stuck.
Who knew that writing a personal statement for college applications would be so HARD?
I tried to start it when I was sick, but no luck. So far I've been doing a whole lot of typing and very little actual writing.
The problem is that I'm not really sure where to start. Then I pick a random spot, type for a while, get sidetracked, and wind up going down a whole other road that I'm pretty sure colleges don't want to hear about.
See, I'm trying to write about my background and how it's influenced my life. For me, that means writing about my old Waldorf school, but that opens up a whole new can of worms, since I've still got seriously mixed feelings about the place. So I pick a direction to go, then get off on a tangent and find that I've written two hundred words that in no way contribute to my essay.
Rrrrrggggghhh. huhj
...and now my head hurts because I just banged it on the computer keyboard, hence the "huhj" above. (But not the "Rrrrrggggghhh." I typed that on purpose.
Okay, back to the pointless typing on a Word document now. Have a picture before I go.
It's a cartoon I drew based on a discussion with my friend about how we'd respond to nerdy pickup lines. (She's in AP Bio, which should explain this rather well. I should add that the red-headed girl looks nothing remotely like either of us.)
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Pranks, Prom and a Mariachi Band
Friday was surreal.
It was the seniors' last day in school before they go off and do their Senior Projects, so they were kind of cutting loose. They had free dress this week (my school has a uniform) and I noticed that a couple of them were sporting minor dress code violations because c'mon, who's going to give them detention on their last day? (I, by the way, am a junior, just to put this in context.)
It was also the big day for pranks. When I got to the locker room, I saw that the hall adjacent to it had been carpeted in bubble wrap. Moreover, some kind of Mexican blanket had been hung over the door to the locker room, forcing everyone to duck under it or lift it up to get in. Later in the day balloons appeared, floating down the halls and bouncing into classrooms.
That wasn't their best prank, though.
The first interesting things I noticed as I walked into the main building was a piece of paper taped to the wall.
It big, bold, printed letters, it said Teachers' Wifi Password: **********. (Actual password not reprinted for security reasons.)
And it wasn't the only one. The password papers were taped up all over the school.
We have three wifi networks at the school: one that everyone used last year before the other two got set up, one for the students, and one for the teachers. The teachers' network is a lot faster than the students', and it doesn't ban websites like the student network does. Only the teachers and the seniors know the password.
Or at least, only the teachers and the seniors knew the password before Friday.
The dean of students was not happy. She went down the halls snatching the papers down from the walls. Then the seniors rescued them from the trash and put them back up when she was gone. Then she took them down again, but by that time it was too late. Everyone already knew the password.
But even that wasn't the best thing they pulled off. You won't believe the best thing.
My friends and I walked out of Religion class and heard some kind of commotion in the courtyard below. We were on this outside walkway on the second story of the building, so we were looking down on the people below. And holy cow.
There was this crowd of seniors dancing around in the courtyard. And they were dancing to the music of a mariachi band.
A mariachi band.
Don't believe me? I got proof.
The seniors hired them to follow the dean of students around all morning. Then when she went home for the day at lunch, the mariachi band just kind of wandered around the school with a crowd of seniors following them and serenaded the teachers.
Friday was the first and probably only time I'll ever get to say, "Sorry I'm late to class. I was held up by the mariachi band."
So yeah, we're going to have a hard time topping that when we're seniors next year.
And then that night was prom.
It was fun. I went to a friend's house for a little party beforehand and we all rode there in a limo. There were about twenty of us total, as most of the girls had dates.
The prom itself was on the roof of a car museum, so we had a really nice aerial view of the city. Honestly, I had a blast. I went alone and hung out with several of my best friends, including two seniors who I will miss so much when they've graduated! We didn't dance much, mostly just ate dinner and talked. The music was really, truly, brain-cell-killingly awful. Everyone looked beautiful in their fancy dresses. I wore this black dress that has several advantages: it's very comfortable, it's nylon so it doesn't wrinkle, and it's a classic so I can wear it to pretty much any formal event for the next fifty years. Such as next year's prom, for instance. :)
It was awesome just being with my friends, talking, joking, dancing a little bit to the horrible music, riding in the limo with slightly better music. I hope everyone else's prom was awesome too.
It was the seniors' last day in school before they go off and do their Senior Projects, so they were kind of cutting loose. They had free dress this week (my school has a uniform) and I noticed that a couple of them were sporting minor dress code violations because c'mon, who's going to give them detention on their last day? (I, by the way, am a junior, just to put this in context.)
It was also the big day for pranks. When I got to the locker room, I saw that the hall adjacent to it had been carpeted in bubble wrap. Moreover, some kind of Mexican blanket had been hung over the door to the locker room, forcing everyone to duck under it or lift it up to get in. Later in the day balloons appeared, floating down the halls and bouncing into classrooms.
That wasn't their best prank, though.
The first interesting things I noticed as I walked into the main building was a piece of paper taped to the wall.
It big, bold, printed letters, it said Teachers' Wifi Password: **********. (Actual password not reprinted for security reasons.)
And it wasn't the only one. The password papers were taped up all over the school.
We have three wifi networks at the school: one that everyone used last year before the other two got set up, one for the students, and one for the teachers. The teachers' network is a lot faster than the students', and it doesn't ban websites like the student network does. Only the teachers and the seniors know the password.
Or at least, only the teachers and the seniors knew the password before Friday.
The dean of students was not happy. She went down the halls snatching the papers down from the walls. Then the seniors rescued them from the trash and put them back up when she was gone. Then she took them down again, but by that time it was too late. Everyone already knew the password.
But even that wasn't the best thing they pulled off. You won't believe the best thing.
My friends and I walked out of Religion class and heard some kind of commotion in the courtyard below. We were on this outside walkway on the second story of the building, so we were looking down on the people below. And holy cow.
There was this crowd of seniors dancing around in the courtyard. And they were dancing to the music of a mariachi band.
A mariachi band.
Don't believe me? I got proof.
 |
| Pictures and video taken on my cell phone from a high vantage point. |
The seniors hired them to follow the dean of students around all morning. Then when she went home for the day at lunch, the mariachi band just kind of wandered around the school with a crowd of seniors following them and serenaded the teachers.
 |
| More cell phone footage! |
 |
| They were right in front of the doorway to the main building at the end of lunch. |
Friday was the first and probably only time I'll ever get to say, "Sorry I'm late to class. I was held up by the mariachi band."
So yeah, we're going to have a hard time topping that when we're seniors next year.
And then that night was prom.
It was fun. I went to a friend's house for a little party beforehand and we all rode there in a limo. There were about twenty of us total, as most of the girls had dates.
The prom itself was on the roof of a car museum, so we had a really nice aerial view of the city. Honestly, I had a blast. I went alone and hung out with several of my best friends, including two seniors who I will miss so much when they've graduated! We didn't dance much, mostly just ate dinner and talked. The music was really, truly, brain-cell-killingly awful. Everyone looked beautiful in their fancy dresses. I wore this black dress that has several advantages: it's very comfortable, it's nylon so it doesn't wrinkle, and it's a classic so I can wear it to pretty much any formal event for the next fifty years. Such as next year's prom, for instance. :)
It was awesome just being with my friends, talking, joking, dancing a little bit to the horrible music, riding in the limo with slightly better music. I hope everyone else's prom was awesome too.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Depressing poetry, yay!
I must have been in a weird mood this weekend, because all of my writing is a little darker than usual. Normally I tend to write funny stuff, but this weekend...nope. I wrote depressing poetry!
And because I'm nice I decided to share it with you guys.
Here is my depressing poetry!
I'm starting out with one that I actually didn't write this weekend--I wrote it a few months ago and somehow I still think it's okay.
And because I'm nice I decided to share it with you guys.
Here is my depressing poetry!
I'm starting out with one that I actually didn't write this weekend--I wrote it a few months ago and somehow I still think it's okay.
If I could melt the sound of
violins
And swirl in the cello's
baritone
And add to it the heavenly
choir's din
A thousand music notes would
sing you home.
If I could take the words from
all the books
And use them to express my love
for you
That verse would leave no human
mind unhooked
No heavy heart could ever be as
blue.
I long for you in every passing
day
I sing to you whenever I am
home
I wish on stars that you would
come to stay
And I'd no longer have to be
alone.
If I could take the sparkle
from the stars
And mix it with the beauty of a
rose
And place it in a thousand
crystal jars
You wouldn't have to suffer
through my prose.
I wrote those words when I was
just sixteen
I never knew they'd ever ring
so true
Now I'm grown up and in the
space between
I think I've fallen out of love
with you.
I know this poem is going to
sound cliché
But darling, I just want you to
come home
I wait for you in every passing
day
I'm so damn tired of always
being alone.
If I could get the strength to
leave this house
And find someone who sometimes
would come home
You're often just a bad taste
in my mouth
I'd leave and then you'd be the
one alone.
This house we share will never
be the same
The love we had is cracked and
dusty, so
I cannot keep on playing this
awful game
I need to be the one to tell
you no.
So now I’m packing up my brand-new bags
My suitcase sits out in the hall at home
I’m going to leave this love that’s torn to rags
I’m going to find a place I’m not alone.
Geez. I have no idea where that came from. I remember thinking it was going to be a happy poem when I started it and then my brain was like, "NOPE. Depressingness is in!" and I wrote that.
Anyway, here's the first one I wrote this weekend. It's a rondel, a French type of poem with thirteen lines and two repeated refrain lines.
That I were in your arms again, my dear
For there it was that I was truly free
No chains or contradictions binding me
The simple safety of your being near.
Across the grass, there steps a gentle deer
Come here to greet your earthen tomb with me
That I were in your arms again, my dear
For there it was that I was truly free.
The cold ground keeps your body safe in here
But where your spirit is I cannot see
You’ve gone, you’re dead, invisible to me
So came to pass what was my greatest fear—
That I were in your arms again, my dear.
I have these two characters that I mess with in my head sometimes. For some reason I never give them happy endings: one of them usually winds up dead and leaves the other one grieving. I think I wrote this about them. (Hopefully when I actually put them in a story they can finally be happy. I quite like them.)
The next one's about them, too. It's a triolet, thirteen lines with the first, fourth, and seventh lines repeating and the second and eighth lines also repeating. Here you go.
You left me here with this, a broken heart
Your death was ere the death of my own soul
For when the kiss of Death ripped us apart
You left me here with this, a broken heart
From this, which was our home, I do depart
For never here can I again be whole
You left me here with this, a broken heart
Your death was ere the death of my own soul.
Apparently I have a thing for iambic pentameter, since all my depressing poetry is in it. I guess it's just easier for me to write for some reason.
So yeah, this weekend was a weird one for me. Not only do I not usually write poetry, let alone depressing poetry, but I also don't usually write horror stories. But guess what I started after the depressing poetry!
If you guessed a horror story, you get a prize. And if it's not too disturbing when I'm done with it, I might post said horror story here after its completion. You have been warned.
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