Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Next Zonko's Candy

Something funny happened at the Athletics Center the other day...
(Warning: some crude humor involved)

Three friends and I were playing foursquare in a squash court. This in and of itself had presented some problems. We tried playing squash at first, but there were four of us and it was a small, indoor court. Someone's head was going to come off if we kept batting little rubber balls around. So we got a bigger ball and decided to play foursquare instead.

For some reason we couldn't agree on the rankings. Normally it's something like King, Queen, Jester and Royal Toilet, but ours varied from that to Queen, Queen's B****, Prime Minister and Courtesan to Star Trek style with Gold Shirt, Blue Shirt, Red Shirt and Space Hooker to Evil Overlord, Second-In-Command, Minion and Prostitute to a few other things. For some reason the lowest rank was always some sort of prostitute. I don't know; maybe there's something wrong with us. Of course, we are writers. XD

Anyway, there's this thing in foursquare where whoever has the ball calls "Candy shop!" then says the name of a candy and passes it. Each person has to catch the ball and say a candy. The first person to blank or repeat a type of candy becomes the Royal Toilet, or in our case the Prostitute.

(In the interest of privacy, I'm referring to my friends as Friend 1, Friend 2 and Friend 3.)

Friend 1: *Catches ball* Candy shop! M&Ms! *Throws to me*
Me: Uh, Bugbars! *throws to Friend 2*
Friend 2: Twizzlers! *throws to Friend 3*
Friend 3: Skittles! *throws to Friend 1*
Friend 1: Butterfingers! *throws to me*
Me: ...What the f*** are Bugbars?

Needless to say, I lost. But I was already the Prostitute at that point, so it's not like it mattered...

The point is that there will never be a time when the word "Bugbars" is not funny to me. It's like something out of the Monty Python "Crunchy Frog" skit. I don't even know where it came from. I think I modified the word "bugbear" for some reason and it just popped out...it doesn't even make sense!

The funniest thing just happened to me.

I got back to my room a few minutes before my roommate, so I was sitting on my bed rereading one of the books I brought from home (This One Summer by Jillian and Mariko Tamaki, if anyone's wondering) when she walked in.

Roommate: Oh, hey, look, there's a person in my room.
Me: Haha, yeah, don't worry. It's just your roommate.
Roommate: Oh, darn. I was hoping there was an attractive person in my room.
Me: *about to call her on it*
Roommate: Oh my God, no! That's NOT what I meant!
Me: *laughing*
Roommate: I was going to say 'an attractive MAN' but then I decided not to at the last moment! You're definitely attractive! That came out SO wrong!!!
Me: *still laughing my ass off*
Roommate: Let's just say I was hoping the Doctor would be in my room and leave it there.
Me: *still laughing, because come on, that was HILARIOUS!*

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